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Pronouns are everywhere. We use them every day in speech and in writing to take the place of people鈥檚 names. We use them without even thinking about it. Pronouns may not seem like that big of a deal, but for some people, pronouns are a big deal because other folks don鈥檛 always use the correct pronouns to describe them. The practice of sharing and inviting others to share what pronouns they use for themselves should be done in an effort to respect the diversity of gender identities beyond man and woman. The following guide is a starting point for using pronouns respectfully.

What is a pronoun?

• A pronoun is any word that can replace a noun or noun phrase (I, you, them).
• Pronouns refer specifically to people that are being talked about (he, she, him, her, they, them).They are pronouns that an individual identifies with and would like others use to when talking to or about that individual.

What kind of pronouns can be used?

*Don鈥檛 assume the gender of a pronoun: she/her/hers are NOT 鈥渇emale鈥� pronouns, and he/him/his are NOT 鈥渕ale鈥� pronouns.

The different types of pronouns

Subject Pronoun	Object Pronoun	Possessive Pronoun	Reflexive Pronoun
听___ is an activist	I am proud of ___	That is __ book and That book is ___	That person likes ___
She	Her	Her/Hers	Herself
He	Him	His	Himself
Ze*	Hir	Hir/Hirs	Hirself
Ze*	Zir	Zie/Zirs	Zirself
E or Ey	Em	Eir/Eirs	Eirself or emself
Per	Per	Per/Pers	Perself
They (are)**	Them	Their/Theirs	Themselves
Name	Name	Name's/Name's	Name

Note: This chart is not the absolute guide to pronouns 鈥� always ask what someone鈥檚 pronouns are, and if it鈥檚 something you鈥檝e never heard of, ask for clarification. Need some practice? Visit

*Additional alternate spellings for 鈥渮e鈥� are 鈥渮ie鈥�, 鈥渟ie鈥�, 鈥渪ie鈥�, and 鈥渪e.鈥� **When using 鈥渢hey鈥� as a singular gender inclusive pronoun, you would still conjugate associated verbs as you would for the plural version, as in 鈥渢hey are an activist鈥� or 鈥渢hey like to go shopping鈥�, not 鈥渢hey is an activist鈥� or 鈥渢hey likes to go shopping.鈥� ***Never argue with or question a person鈥檚 gender identity of pronouns.

How should I ask what someone鈥檚 pronouns are?

• If you are in private with an individual, you can simply say, 鈥淐an I ask what your pronouns are?鈥�
  • Other ways of asking an individual their pronouns respectfully are: 鈥淗ow would you like me to refer to you?鈥�;鈥淗ow would you like to be addressed?鈥�
  • Often, offering up your own pronouns makes space for others to do the same if they are ready to. For example, 鈥淢y name is Isaac and my pronouns are he and him.鈥�
  • This may feel uncomfortable at first, but you do not want to say the wrong pronouns based on assumptions, and the student will most likely appreciate your effort.
  • Be sure to not just ask the gender ambiguous folks 鈥� ask everyone so as not to single anyone out.
• If you are in a group setting, examine first whether this is a safe place for students to potentially out themselves. This means examining power structures鈥攊s a student going to worry about their grades being lowered or losing a job/friends/family?
  • Never make group pronoun sharing a requirement. Some people鈥檚 identities will be validated by sharing their pronouns. For others who may be questioning identities, making sharing pronouns mandatory feel constricting.
  • You can also ask about pronouns as part of a group exercise, which would allow you to explain to the group what pronouns are. You could say something like: 鈥淓veryone tell your name, a fun fact about you, and your pronouns if you鈥檇 like to share. For example, my pronouns are she, her, and hers.鈥�
  • If you鈥檙e creating name tags for an event, put a space on the nametag, or add into the sign-in instructions for folks to share their name and pronouns if they鈥檇 like.
• If you make a mistake: Mistakes happen! If you use the wrong pronoun, apologize and correct it, and then move on. Avoid continually talking about how bad you feel for making the mistake, because it makes the person feel like they need to console you. If you forget someone鈥檚 pronouns, follow the same protocol: apologize, correct it, and move on.
• If someone is using the wrong pronoun for a person, correct it by saying something like, 鈥淎ctually, Alex uses the pronoun she.鈥� If folks continue to use the wrong pronoun, do not ignore it. It might help to ask the individual who has been misidentified if they would like you to take the person aside and remind them of the proper pronoun.

Should I use the term 鈥減referred鈥� or just ask for someone鈥檚 name or pronouns?

Many people find the use of "preferred" to describe names and pronouns insulting. It is not someone鈥檚 鈥減referred鈥� name, it is their name. Likewise, it is not someone鈥檚 鈥減referred鈥� pronouns, but the pronouns that they use.

Why is it important to respect and continually make space for others to share pronouns?

• Inquiring about pronouns is a simple way to show you want to cultivate an environment that respects all gender identities.
• You can鈥檛 always tell someone鈥檚 pronouns by looking at a person.
• For those in positions of power, by respecting one鈥檚 pronouns consistently, you set an example for peers and other students.
• For some folks who use multiple pronouns or whose pronouns change over time, having the opportunity to share what pronouns are affirming on a consistent basis is important.
• When someone is referred to by the wrong pronoun, it can make the person feel disrespected and alienated.

Pronouns are for everyone!

We encourage all people鈥攔egardless of gender identity or expression鈥攖o share their pronouns before presentations, on slideshows, in email signatures, and on business cards. Normalizing these practices creates a culture of respect where every person is involved in sharing pronouns, not just those who are misgendered. Here are some examples:

Example of a nametag with pronouns example:

Example of an office name plate with pronouns:

Example of a business card with pronouns:

Example of an email signature with pronouns:

It can be tough to remember pronouns at first. The best solution is to practice! Correct pronoun use is an easy step toward showing respect for people of every gender!